there's nothing wrong with me.

It's really that good!

neurotica

Lately, on days when I walk to work, I walk in the street as to avoid walking by bushes for fear that giant spiders are going to fall all over me.

this little piggy went to the Halloween Superstore

My nightguard smells like a dirty puppy but I don't think I can get a new one anytime soon because my dentist was arrested for assaulting women with tazers and guns. The last time I saw him, he drilled a cavity with no anaesthesia, just holding my head in his arms. Halfway through, his mom called his cell and he answered.

Pumpkin Muffins are delicious.

It's officially not summer anymore.
Let's try to accomplish something with the next three month, shall we?


1. Learn all your lines before the first rehearsal.



2. After killing a Sentinel outside a mall in Paramus, New Jersey, don't be afraid to have yourself a glamorous photo shoot by its smoldering exoskeleton. What's life worth if we can't enjoy small pleasures?




3. Don't neglect your elders. Chances are pretty high that we steal a lot of their mannerisms in our performances without even realizing it and that they may have been through worse breakups than we have yet. Talk to them.



4. It's never too late to find the love of your life. Sometimes people overdose, sometimes they're pretentious Coppolas, sometimes they're just boring and don't talk - that doesn't mean hope is gone. Tomorrow is another day.

lorna luft

This is what I listen to at the gym when it's too hot outside.

He who controls the Spice controls the universe.

You know who had it all?

Kyle Malachlan from 1983-1992.

what it means to be a friend

When I was in college, I went through a period of watching "The Shining" every day. It was my comfort movie. One day, after a couple weeks had gone by, Brian asked me if I was watching "The Shining" because my father had tried to kill me a bunch when I was a little boy.

I didn't watch it anymore after that.

Brian once woke me up at 3am by standing up on his bed with a sheet over his head making ghost noises.