our bachelorette party had a body count

Anyone who has been to Palm Springs knows that you have to claim your pool chairs EARLY! After a couple hours of light sleeping, the kind of sleeping where you ride consciousness the whole evening, I parked my book out by the pool. I was barely conscious when Jill tagged me out so I could get coffee but, boy, am I ever glad she did!

Stumbling from the pool to the restaurant, I walked up to a vision in glasses and eggplant lip liner at the counter.  This classy lady brought me coffee, gave me my change with her lee press-on nails firmly in place, and showed me where I could get some milk and sugar. 

I was in love.   I lingered by the creamer as the hipster bartender approached her from the other room:

"You know, I hear this record all the time and it sounds an awful lot like..."
She stops him right there.

"It was a million years ago..." so dry was her tone, so matter of fact and, dare I say, fabulous that I had no choice but to walk away then and there for fear that my heart would just pop (and my sinuses were going to town from morning allergies in the desert and I didn't want her to see my drainage).

An hour later, we bachelorettes were at brunch.  It was a packed Sunday in Palm Springs crowd, all gorgeous, thin, and above it all.  I was quietly pressing at my left nostril when suddenly, and without warning, my hostess walks to the middle of the restaurant and asks everyone to be quiet.

"I've been told that we have some very special people here with us today and I thought that I'd give you a little treat!"  At this point she began singing THE TROLLEY SONG acapella!!!!

Oh, she gave it her all!  She addressed everyone (I could tell she only plays for packed houses) and she sang the entire song.  My heart popped, I even cried. Her name is Linda Gerard and she was a big deal back in the days of LPs and jazz singers.

When planning a bachelorette party, less is more.
Be sure to start drinking around 9am with a light breakfast. Follow breakie with a leisurely drive to a desert resort (I highly recommend the Ace Hotel in Palm Springs) with your best girlfriends. In the car, share your hopes and dreams, sing a couple songs, laugh a few laughs, and just take it easy. If you've had enough to drink in the morning you will have NO reservations showing off your latest and skimpiest bathing suit to a pool full of gorgeous gays and Europeans upon check-in (and don't worry, they serve booze in the pool!!!)

The Ace Hotel is so wonderful that you can even have cabana boys bring lemon juice to you in the water and they will apply it to your hair for some sun-infused natural highlights! I never thought a weekend in the desert with 8 women could be so lovely.